Beginnings and All That
It all began last year in a rusty old boat. This was no ordinary boat. Someone in the almighty wisdom had decided to cart this hunk of rusting scrap metal, some good mile and a half away from the nearest body of water, up a hill and dumped in the middle of a roundabout in the middle of the new area upon which I walked and called home.

Now the logic behind this baffled me. Who would do such a thing? No one sane would do it and maybe that’s what attracted me to this place. People say madness attracts madness. Maybe it brought out some primeval instinct I had to ride the open waves and feel the salty brine spray. Maybe it was the fact that it served alcohol.

Anyhow, upon entering the place, it lived up to the outside. After purchasing myself a drink I surveyed the place. In the corner a group caught my eye. Drinking games it seemed. A normal occurrence where I was. Little to do round here thanks to the poor saps that ran this country now. Anyhow, nothing odd about the drinking games, except the flock was led by what appeared to be a Reverend. Which faith would advocate the excesses and dress codes that were being undertaken here made me wonder. I assume the church must have been ignorant to the fact. This demanded a closer inspection. With the subtlety I'm infamous for in certain circles, I approached the table. My intentions abundantly clear; I was forced against my will to join them for the rest of the evening. This lot we're a bad bunch I sensed. I was later to be proven right but not after there'd worked there magic on me and convinced me of there worth. The Reverend was very persuasive and didn't take no for answer. It was an assorted bunch.  An oddly dressed man in a trilby was present but I never saw him again. When I asked anyone present the whereabouts of the fellow, I was informed he'd sadly past away in a mysterious fashion, involving an American female and a cricket bat. I didn't like to enquire further. The other fellow was a normal looking fellow who seemed rather quiet. That was until he started screaming “Arsebiscuits!!” and started to try and lick my head. Now this put the fear into me but when the Reverend apologised, I let it slide. Turns out the guy was suffered from tourettes. Poor bastard. And to think they called the Honorable Mr Vine. I assumed he used to be a man of the courtroom until his unfortunate condition came to light. I'd have to keep my eye on him...I didn't like the way he was playing with the lighter and squinting at me.

Anyhow, that’s how I met the crowd. Turns out we managed to form a beneficial relationship between the lot of us. At the end of the year, we got kicked out of the flats for various reasons. Some half muttered words like “lambs blood on the walls, racial slurs, drunken antics” were mentioned as a reason for our leaving. With that we parted company for a while but the calling was too strong and we ended up renting a house further down in the city. Knowing full well the trouble we'd cause to our landlords and neighbours, maybe it was beneficial that we were well away from the richer parts of the city.